SHY? How to Start a Conversation!

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1. First, and you may have seen this coming, is to begin talking more kindly to yourself. I know I talk about this all the time, probably too much, but that’s only because it’s so very important. Many of the issues we all struggle with everyday are born out of our lack of confidence or self worth. So if we work to improve that little by little, we will feel more comfortable meeting new people and having conversations with them. Now one of the ways to work on this is to pick 3-5 things you enjoy about yourself each and every day. Another option is to notice how often you judge or talk trash about others. Pay attention to it, and then force yourself to say something nice as well. Just forcing my mind into a more positive space actually make me feel so much better, and stops me from judging and being nasty to myself.
2. Okay, onto the next tip to become better at socializing, and that is to practice initiating conversation. I know this sounds like a terrible idea, but if we wait for someone to come to us, we a) don’t get to choose who to connect with and b) we don’t get to pick the topic of conversation. So if we walk up to someone, introduce ourselves and start a conversation, we can make sure it’s about something we know a lot about or that we enjoy talking about.
3. Be okay with eye contact. This is where that newly found confidence will come in handy! Looking at the floor or avoiding eye contact all together doesn’t help us appear warm and welcoming, so even if someone wanted to approach us, they might not.
4. Next, keep open body language. Open body language means keeping our arms and legs uncrossed, our shoulders back, and eyes moving around the room casually. I know it can seem overwhelming but just consider the difference you feel when I do this versus when I do that.
5. Next, and you think this would be obvious, but trust me, I go out a lot and it’s not, is put your phone away. No one is going to approach us if we are looking down at our phone scrolling through instagram or texting a friend of ours. Keep your phone in your pocket or purse so that you look open and available.
6. And my final tip is to get out more and try new things. This will not only give you more opportunities to connect with other people and try out your new tools, but it also gives you something to talk about with others when you are at an event, restaurant, bar or whatever.

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Posted on: February 21, 2019, by :
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